Unfair.

Good Morning,

It's a little early for me to be awake, let alone posting, but I felt a need to get this out.

My mother is the most emotionally unstable person I've ever met. I've met tons of these type... my best friend, current crush, all of these people. I've seen people go to pieces in their lowest moments, but my mom is nothing but the crushed remains of what used to be a fairly strong and independent woman.

We had a fight this morning. We're going to apply for welfare. Last night, Mom told me to do the dishes. This morning she called me everything in the book, for not doing the dishes. It started out with 'if you don't want to help, you should move out,' progressing to 'we were going to move to Ottawa for you! Now you've decided you don't want to be an Architect!" and further still to "I've committed to killing myself the moment you're on that plane to Europe! Have a nice time."

How do you deal with a woman who never really grew up? Who never gets what she wants, when she has all she'll need. She actually said the world would end if she didn't do the dishes. She is mentally deranged. My dad just rolls his eyes, and tell us to stop fighting. I mean, yeah. I should've done the dishes, but they basically barked at me to do it, while I wasn't even in the room. Sorry? A little thing called manners?

My Parents are my "bad examples" and basically what not to do. I can hear her cursing me still. What do you do with that? It's lucky that I'm not as crazy as she is. yet. The thing is she's so irrational. You try to fight her with logic... she'll will stay crazy until hours after what you said sinks in. Sometimes she apologizes. other time, like this one, where she will think she in the right to tell me she would kill herself. Goodie.

I'm a mentally sound individual, despite my mother's negative influence on me. My dad is pretty sane too, most days. There is the occasional outburst from him, but usually he's the quiet and rational one. Which is good, my mother needs him.

So I hope I've painted a picture of the bullshit my mom puts me through. I'm sure there'll be more to come.

I've never done this before.

Hello!

I've never had a blog before. So bear with me, as I become more comfortable with it. I'm not here to bad mouth anyone, specifically, but you may find some of my posts to be pointed. When that happens, know that I'm sorry to anyone who reads this. I'm usually not a cruel person, but my anger does flare up occasionally. It burns out just as fast, but during the time I am angry I need to rage it out. I hope to keep up a post a week. ^.^

So let me introduce myself. I'm eighteen, female, and rather optimistic. I've been told I'm so happy, I come off as broken (meaning I don't react how a 'normal/well adjusted' person would). I like to observe people, and usually have a good idea about things that are going on... I don't mean to be so Dramatic. It's merely something that happens... as I like to say, 'Drama follows me around like a hungry dog. Sometimes I feed him, sometimes I ignore him."

I might post friend gossip here, and I'll try to leave names out as much as possible. To make sense I might assign names to them. As I know certain friends are hilarious, and must be talked about. And others are just completely ridiculous and should be aired out somewhere. It's here or on the ears of my friends.

So I'm a highschool student. I'm in my fifth year, which I must say is the most pointless thing I've ever done in my life. I'm taking an AP class, cause I need more credits for University, even though I'm already graduated. I'm working my butt off for something that might not do me any good, and on top of that I've decided to learn the enitre history of Art. which I must say is a very long history. I might not, merely stick to the AP studio, which doesn't have an exam.

I'm currently involved in an online fling with a boy who has no idea how to treat a lady. Actually I've never really been treated properly, and I'm about fed up. Boys can be a pain in the ass, and I'm such a realist I've never really tried to get a guy that I don't think would be interested in me. It's changing a bit as I age. Once I get out of the cliche of Highschool stereotypes, I might find it a bit easier.

Although you may think I have confidience issues, which I assure you is not the case. Aside from what I don't know about, I have quite a bit of confidience. I'm almost self-centred. But I'm always willing to help some one. I'm quite typically a good girl. I never seem to leave my comfort realm. I think in the next couple years, I'll discover who I want to be. I intend to leave that bubble that is my brain, and explore my options. I've always had options. xD

I've been working my ass of to apply to architecture science. I've suddenly decided I don't think this is what I want to do with my life. Not for lack of research, but merely personal preference. I love to draw, but maybe not what I want to do with my life. I'm so passionate, that it seems a shame to pick a job where I'd have to work on my own, for the most part. I want to network, I want to be involved.

Well so other than my late teen crisis, my life is but a blur of all the right things to do, all the right things to say. Maybe I should take some risks. ^.^

blaimingyou.